


Thinking, or Brooding?

by RiBread



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, I don't know how to tag for eating souls, Mentions of canon-typical violence, Missing Scene, One Shot, specific event referenced are in episode 91, takes place sometime during episode 94
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26383816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiBread/pseuds/RiBread
Summary: After returning from Hell, Percy has some time to reflect on his poor life choices. Luckily, Vex always seems to be able to tell when he's giving something perhaps a littletoomuch thought.
Relationships: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Thinking, or Brooding?

That night when she came up to bed, he was already there. She wasn’t too surprised-- they hadn’t really had a chance to rest since they got back from hell, and Percy sometimes liked to go to bed early to think, and have some time to himself. It was certainly better than what he used to do for alone time, locking himself in his workshop for days on end. Vex slipped out of her day clothes, shivering slightly as her bare skin met the chilly Whitestone air. Once naked, she slid under the sheets, tucking herself up against Percy’s side. He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and barely reacted to her arrival besides a slight shift, as natural as breathing, to slide one arm around and under her shoulders so she could fit herself snugly up against him. He wore soft sleep trousers, but his chest was bare, and Vex gently placed her palm against it, tracing its lines and ridges. 

The first thing she noticed was the tension in his muscles. She frowned, lifting her head slightly to see his face. Her eyes cut easily through the dim light to see not see the pained, panicked expression he wore when things were very bad, but instead what she generally referred to as his “overthinking” face. She slid her hand up across his chest to his cheek, tipping his head down towards her, and pursed her lips.

“What is it, darling?”

He blinked for a moment, then sighed. She always did see right through him, so there was no use pretending. “Thinking.”

“Thinking, or brooding?” There was a teasing lilt to her voice that brought a smile to Percy’s face despite the thoughts rushing through his head. He paused, gathering his words into something he could make sense of, and she waited patiently, simply continuing to move her hand in small, soothing, circles across his chest.

“Those stones, when we were in hell,” he said, the words soft and halting. With her head resting on him like this, Vex could feel the rumble of his voice deep in his chest. She squeezed his shoulder briefly, a frown creasing her face at the mention of the soul shards.

“You know we don’t blame you for that. Keyleth and Tary did it too--” 

“They didn’t know what it was when _they_ did it, but that’s not the point.” He cut her off with a small wave of his hand. “I’ve long ago accepted that I will do horrible things, knowing that they are horrible, simply because I had the thought to do so. That brooding is over with, and likely sooner than it should be. No, I’m thinking about… something else.” 

His voice caught in his throat for a moment and he cleared it into the silence. Despite her best efforts to stay calm, Vex felt as if her heartbeat caught at just that moment as well. That sound was too familiar, and a reminder of times when things had been so much worse. Those tremors in his voice, that nervous cough, and of course the ever-present black smoke… all scars of suffering she wasn’t sure she’d ever truly come to terms with. She bit her lip and tucked herself closer to him, suppressing a shiver. Percy sighed, deep in his chest.

“Vex, when I took those souls from the stone, it felt… _familiar_.” It was his turn to shiver now. “It’s the same rush I had whenever I… every time I took a life with The List.”

“...Oh.”

He chuckled. “Oh, indeed.” 

“I suppose that explains why you went all catatonic for a moment there, after.”

 _“Yes.”_ Percy let out a short huff of breath through his nose. “I shouldn’t have been so shocked, really. I did know, after the fact, that I was taking souls. I… I think I had the arrogant idea, somehow, that only those souls on my List were forfeit. Instead, I fed on the souls of everything I killed. Or fed them to Orthax. I’m not... entirely sure there’s a difference.”

Vex allowed him a moment to breath, and herself a moment to think, before she tried to respond. She’d learned with Percy that immediate reassurance wasn’t always the best route. He so often came to her when he felt his own conscience was faulty, when he needed someone to tell him to slow down and think for himself. She couldn’t solve this through sympathy and soft reassurances that ‘of _course_ there’s a difference, darling!’ The platitude had a chance to do more harm than good in the long run, especially if she wasn’t entirely convinced of the words herself. But even as she considered her options, she felt him relax just slightly beside her, and he shifted down in the bed to press his face into her hair. She smiled and cupped the back of his neck, drawing him to the crook of her shoulder.

“Well, darling, now you know. And yes, that was impulsive and stupid, you know that. I can’t stop you from doing those things. But remember, ‘Sineath.’ Forgiveness applies to you, too, dear.” Percy sighed, finally relaxing into her and allowing his arms to wrap around her, nuzzling into her shoulder.

“You always do manage to cut right through to that, don’t you?”

“Of course. That’s why you have me.” Percy gave a small, almost incredulous, laugh. After all they’d been through, that simple fact still filled him with a sense of wonder he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I _do_ have you, don’t I?” His breath was soft and warm against her neck, and If that wasn’t an invitation for her to kiss him, she didn’t know what was. She obliged, before pulling back to look into those deep blue eyes.

“And always will,” she reminded him, lifting an eyebrow in a mock imperious expression. He laughed, like she’d known he would.

“Always.”


End file.
